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chain free and piling it at the base of the first post； hurrying back to my running car； hoping no one would
pass and stop to offer me help。 The highway stayed clear as I drove onto the dirt and then rushed back
to refasten the chain。
We both relaxed when the pavement disappeared behind us。 I was glad that there was apparently no
one left I would have to lie to； whether with words or silence。 Alone； I felt less of a renegade。
Melanie was perfectly at home here in the middle of nothing。 She knew the names of all the spiny plants
around us。 She hummed their names to herself； greeting them like old friends。
Creosote； ocotillo； cholla； prickly pear； mesquite…
Away from the highway； the trappings of civilization； the desert seemed to take on a new life for
Melanie。 Though she appreciated the speed of the jolting car—our vehicle didn’t have the ground
clearance necessary for this off…road trip； as the shocks reminded me with every pit in the dirt—she
itched to be on her feet； loping through the safety of the baking desert。
We would probably have to walk； and all too soon for my taste； but when that time came； I doubted it
would satisfy her。 I could feel the real desire beneath the surface。 Freedom。 To move her body to the
familiar rhythm of her long stride with only her will for guidance。 For a moment； I allowed myself to see
the prison that was life without a body。 To be carried inside but unable to influence the shape around you。
I shuddered and refocused on the rough road； trying to stave off the mingled pity and horror。 No other
host had made me feel such guilt for what I was。 Of course； none of the others had stuck around to
plain about the situation。
The sun was close to the tips of the western hills when we had our first disagreement。 The long shadows
created strange patterns across the road； making it hard to avoid the rocks and craters。
There it is！Melanie crowed as we caught sight of another formation farther east： a smooth wave of rock；
interrupted by a sudden spur that swung a thin； long finger out against the sky。
She was all for turning immediately into the brush； no matter what that did to the car。
Maybe we’re supposed to go all the way to the first landmark；I pointed out。 The little dirt road
continued to wind in more or less the right direction； and I was terrified to leave it。 How else would I find
my way back to civilization？ Wasn’t I going back？
I imagined the Seeker right at this moment； as the sun touched the dark； zigzagging line of the western
horizon。 What would she think when I didn’t arrive in Tucson？ A spasm of glee made me laugh out loud。
Melanie also enjoyed the picture of the Seeker’s furious irritation。 How long would it take her to go back
to San Diego to see if this had all been a ploy to get rid of her？ And then what steps would she take
when I wasn’t there？ When I wasn’t anywhere？
I just couldn’t picture very clearly whereI would be at that point。
Look； a dry wash。 It’s wide enough for the car—let’s follow it；Melanie insisted。
I’m not sure we’re supposed to go that way yet。
It will be dark soon and we’ll have to stop。 You’re wasting time！She was silently shouting in her
frustration。
Or saving time； if I’m right。 Besides； it’smytime； isn’t it？
She didn’t answer in words。 She seemed to stretch inside my mind； reaching back toward the
convenient wash。
I’m the one doing this； so I’m doing it my way。
Melanie fumed wordlessly in response。
Why don’t you show me the rest of the lines？I suggested。We could see if anything is visible before
night falls。
No；she snapped。I’ll do that part myway。
You’re being childish。
Again she refused to answer。 I continued toward the four sharp peaks； and she sulked。
Have you lost your mind？Melanie hissed。Do you have any idea how visible headlights would be
out here？ Someone is sure to see us。
So what do we do now？
Hope the seat reclines。
I let the engine idle as I tried to think of options besides sleeping in the car； surrounded by the black
emptiness of the desert night。 Melanie waited patiently； knowing I would find none。
This is crazy； you know；I told her； throwing the car into park and twisting the keys out of the ignition。
The whole thing。 There can’t really be anyone out here。 We won’t find anything。 And we’re going
to get hopelessly lost trying。 I had an abstract sense of the physical danger in what we were
planning—wandering out into the heat with no backup plan； no way to return。 I knew Melanie
understood the danger far more clearly； but she held the specifics back。
She didn’t respond to my accusations。 None of these problems bothered her。 I could see that she’d
rather wander alone in the desert for the rest of her life than go back to the life I’d had before。 Even
without the threat of the Seeker； this was preferable to her。
I leaned the seat back as far as it would go。 It wasn’t close to far enough for fort。 I doubted that I
would be able to sleep； but there were so many things I wasn’t allowing myself to think about that my
mind was vacant and uninteresting。 Melanie was silent； too。
I closed my eyes； finding little difference between my lids and the moonless night； and drifted into
unconsciousness with unexpected ease。
CHAPTER 11
Dehydrated
Okay！ You were right； you were right！” I said the words out loud。 There was no one around to hear me。
Melanie wasn’tsaying “I told you so。” Not in so many words。 But I could feel the accusation in her
silence。
I was still unwilling to leave the car； though it was useless to me now。 When the gas ran out； I had let it
roll forward with the remaining momentum until it took a nosedive into a shallow gorge—a thick rivulet
cut by the last big rain。 Now I stared out the windshield at the vast； vacant plain and felt my stomach
twist with panic。
We have to move； Wanderer。 It’s only going to get hotter。
If I hadn’t wasted more than a quarter of a tank of gas stubbornly pushing on to the very base of the
second landmark—only to find that the third milesto