按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
“Hey; it’s me; I’m right here。 What’s up? I’m kind of in a
hurry; so 。 。 。” I thought about asking her directly if she’d
called to fire me but decided to give her a break for once。 I
braced myself for the verbal tirade she was sure to let loose
on me—how could you let her down; me down;Runway down; the
wide world of fashion; blah; blah; blah—but it never came。
“Oh yeah; of course。 So; I just spoke to Miranda 。 。 。” Her
voice trailed off as though she was hoping I’d continue and
explain that the whole thing had been a big mistake and not to
worry because I’d managed to fix it in the last four minutes。
“And you heard what happened; I’m assuming?”
“Um; yeah! Andy; what’s going on?”
“I should probably be asking you that; right?”
There was silence。
“Listen; Em; I have a feeling that you called to fire me。 It’s
OK if you did; I know it’s not your decision。 So; did she tell
you to call and get rid of me?” Even though I felt lighter
than I had in many months; I still found myself holding my
breath; wondering if maybe; through some dumb stroke of luck
or misfortune; Miranda had respected my telling her to fuck
off instead of been appalled by it。
“Yes。 She asked me to let you know that you have been
terminated; effective immediately; and she would like you to
be checked out of the Ritz before she returns from the show。”
She said this softly and with a trace of regret。 Perhaps it
was for the many hours and days and weeks she was now facing
of finding and training someone all over again; but there
sounded like there might be something even more behind it。
“You’re going to miss me; aren’t you; Em? Go on; say it。 It’s
OK; I won’t tell anyone。 As far as I’m concerned; this
conversation never happened。 You don’t want me to go; do you?”
Miracle of miracles; she laughed。 “What did you say to her?
She just kept repeating that you were crass and unlady…like。 I
couldn’t get anything more specific out of her than that。”
“Oh; that’s probably because I told her to fuck herself。”
“You did not!”
“You’re calling to fire me。 I assure you; I did。”
“Oh my god。”
“Yeah; well; I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t the single most
satisfying moment of my pathetic life。 Of course; I have now
been fired by the most powerful woman in publishing。 Not only
do I not have a way to pay off my nearly maxed…out MasterCard;
but future jobs in magazines are looking rather dismal。 Maybe
I should try to work for one of her enemies? They’d be happy
to hire me; right?”
“Sure。 Send your résumé over to Anna Wintour—they’ve never
liked each other very much。”
“Hmm。 Something to think about。 Listen; Em; no hard feelings;
OK?” We both knew that we had absolutely; positively not a
single thing in mon but Miranda Priestly; but as long as we
were getting on so famously; I figured I’d play along。
“Sure; of course;” she lied awkwardly; knowing full well that
I was about to enter into the upper stratosphere of social
pariah…dom。 The chances of Emily admitting she had so much as
known me from this day forward were nonexistent; but that was
OK。 Maybe in ten years when she was sitting front and center
at the Michael Kors show and I was still shopping at Filene’s
and dining at Benihana; we’d laugh about the whole thing。 But
probably not。
“Well; I’d love to chat; but I’m kind of screwed up right now;
not sure what to do next。 I’ve got to figure out a way to get
Home as soon as possible。 Do you think I can still use my
return ticket? She can’t fire me and leave me stranded in a
foreign country; can she?”
“Well of course she would be justified in doing so; Andrea;”
she said。 Ah…hah! One last zinger。 It was forting to know
that things never really changed。 “After all; it’s really you
who are deserting your job—you forced her to fire you。 But no;
I don’t think she’s a vengeful kind of person。 Just charge the
change fee and I’ll figure out a way to put it through。”
“Thanks; Em。 I appreciate it。 And good luck to you; too。
You’re going to make a fantastic fashion editor someday。”
“Really? You think so?” she asked eagerly; happily。 Why my
opinion as the biggest fashion loser ever to hit the scene was
at all relevant; I didn’t know; but she sounded very; very
pleased。
“Definitely。 Not a doubt in my mind。”
Christian called the moment I hung up with Emily。 He had;
unsurprisingly; already heard what happened。 Unbelievable。 But
the pleasure he took from hearing the sordid details; bined
with all sorts of promises and invitations he offered up; made
me feel sick again。 I told him as calmly as possible that I
had a lot to deal with right now; to please stop calling in
the meantime; that I’d get in touch if and when I felt like
it。
Since they miraculously didn’t yet know that I’d flunked out
of my job; Monsieur Renaud and entourage fell all over
themselves on hearing that an emergency at Home demanded I
return immediately。 It took only a half hour for a small army
of hotel staff to book me on the next flight to New York; pack
my bags; and tuck me into the backseat of a limo stocked with
a full bar bound for Charles de Gaulle。 The driver was chatty;
but I didn’t really respond: I wanted to enjoy my last moments
as the lowest…paid but most highly perked assistant in the
free world。 I poured myself one final flute of perfectly dry
champagne and took a long; slow; luxurious sip。 It had taken
eleven months; forty…four weeks; and some 3;080 hours of work
to figure out—once and for all—that morphing into Miranda
Priestly’s mirror image was probably not such a good thing。
Instead of a uniformed driver with a sign