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Positive。 Why； do the numbers show some sign of possible exposure？〃
〃If you haven't been exposed； then they couldn't very well show a sign； could they？〃
'Then we agree；〃 I said。
〃Tell me this； Mr。 Gladney； in all honesty。 How do you feel？〃
〃To the best of my knowledge； I feel very well。 First…rate。 I feel better than I have in years； relatively speaking。〃
〃What do you mean； relatively speaking？〃
〃Given the fact I'm older now。〃
He looked at me carefully。 He seemed to be trying to stare me down。 Then he made a note on my record。 I might have been a child facing the school principal over a series of unexcused absences。
I said； 〃How can we tell whether the elevation is true or false？〃
〃I will send you to Glassboro for further tests。 Would you like that？ There is a brand…new facility called Autumn Harvest Farms。 They have gleaming new equipment。 You won't be disappointed； wait and see。 It gleams； absolutely。〃
〃All right。 But is potassium the only thing we have to watch？〃
〃The less you know； the better。 Go to Glassboro。 Tell them to delve thoroughly。 No stone unturned。 Tell them to send you back to me with sealed results。 I will analyze them down to the smallest detail。 I will absolutely pick them apart。 They have the know…how at Harvest Farms； the most delicate of instruments； I promise you。 The best of third…world technicians； the latest procedures。〃
His bright smile hung there like a peach on a tree。
〃Together； as doctor and patient； we can do things that neither of us could do separately。 There is not enough emphasis on prevention。 An ounce of prevention； goes the saying。 Is this a proverb or a maxim？ Surely professor can tell us。〃
〃I'll need time to think about it。〃
〃In any case； prevention is the thing； isn't it？ I've just seen the latest issue of American Mortician。 Quite a shocking picture。 The industry is barely adequate to acmodating the vast numbers of dead。〃
Babette was right。 He spoke English beautifully。 I went home and started throwing things away。 I threw away fishing lures； dead tennis balls； torn luggage。 I ransacked the attic for old furniture； discarded lampshades； warped screens； bent curtain rods。 I threw away picture frames； shoe trees； umbrella stands； wall brackets； highchairs and cribs； collapsible TV trays； beanbag chairs； broken turntables。 I threw away shelf paper； faded stationery； manuscripts of articles I'd written； galley proofs of the same articles； the journals in which the articles were printed。 The more things I threw away； the more I found。 The house was a sepia maze of old and tired things。 There was an immensity of things； an overburdening weight； a connection； a mortality。 I stalked the rooms； flinging things into cardboard boxes。 Plastic electric fans； burnt…out toasters； Star Trek needlepoints。 It took well over an hour to get everything down to the sidewalk。 No one helped me。 I didn't want help or pany or human understanding。 I just wanted to get the stuff out of the house。 I sat on the front steps alone； waiting for a sense of ease and peace to settle in the air around me。
A woman passing on the street said； 〃A decongestant； an antihistamine； a cough suppressant； a pain reliever。〃
35
Babette could not get enough of talk radio。 〃I hate my face；〃 a woman said。 'This is an ongoing problem with me for years。 Of all the faces you could have given me； lookswise； this one has got to be the worst。 But how can I not look？ Even if you took all my mirrors away； I would still find a way to look。 How can I not look on the one hand？ But I hate it on the other。 In other words I still look。 Because whose face is it； obviously？ What do I do； forget it's there； pretend it's someone else's？ What I'm trying to do with this call； Mel； is find other people who have a problem accepting their face。 Here are some questions to get us started。 What did you look like before you were born？ What will you look like in the afterlife； regardless of race or color？〃
Babette wore her sweatsuit almost all the time。 It was a plain gray outfit； loose and drooping。 She cooked in it； drove the kids to school； wore it to the hardware store and the stationer's。 I thought about it for a while； decided there was nothing excessively odd in this； nothing to worry about； no reason to believe she was sinking into apathy and despair。
〃How do you feel？〃 I said。 'Tell the truth。〃
〃What is the truth？ I'm spending more time with Wilder。 Wilder helps me get by。〃
〃I depend on you to be the healthy outgoing former Babette。 I need this as badly as you do； if not more。〃
〃What is need？ We all need。 Where is the uniqueness in this？〃
〃Are you feeling basically the same？〃
〃You mean am I sick unto death？ The fear hasn't gone； Jack。〃
〃We have to stay active。〃
〃Active helps but Wilder helps more。〃
〃Is it my imagination；〃 I said； 〃or is he talking less than ever？〃
'There's enough talk。 What is talk？ I don't want him to talk。 The less he talks； the better。〃
〃Denise worries about you。〃
〃Who？〃
〃Denise。〃
〃Talk is radio；〃 she said。
Denise would not let her mother go running unless she promised to apply layers of sunscreen gel。 The girl would follow her out of the house to dash a final glob of lotion across the back of Babette's neck； then stand on her toes to stroke it evenly in。 She tried to cover every exposed spot。 The brows； the lids。 They had bitter arguments about the need for this。 Denise said the sun was a risk to a fair…skinned person。 Her mother claimed the whole business was publicity for disease。
〃Besides； I'm a runner；〃 she said。 〃A runner by definition is less likely to be struck by damaging rays than a standing or walking figure。〃
Denise spun in my direction； arms flung out； her body beseeching me to set the woman straight。
'The worst rays are direct；〃 Babette said。 〃This means the faster a person is moving； the more likely she is to receive only partial hits； glancing rays； deflections。〃
Denise let her mouth fall open； bent her body at the knees。 In truth I wasn't sure her mother was wrong。
〃It is all a corporate tie…in；〃 Babette said in summa