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real and bread for lunch and fried potatoes for dinner and； if possible； vegetables or lettuce once or twice a week。 thats all there is。 were going to be hungry； but nothings worse than being caught。
yours； anne
m。 frank
friday； may 26； 1944
my dearest kitty；
at long； long last； i can sit quietly at my table before the crack in the window frame and write you everything； everything i want to say。
i feel more miserable than i have in months。 even after the break…in i didnt feel so utterly broken； inside and out。 on the one hand； theres the news about mr。 van hoeven； the jewish question （which is discussed in detail by everyone in the house）； the invasion （which is so long in ing）； the awful food； the tension； the misera… ble atmosphere； my disappointment in peter。 on the other hand； theres beps engagement； the pentecost reception； the flowers； mr。 kuglers birthday； cakes and stories about cabarets； movies and concerts。 that gap； that enormous gap； is always there。 one day were laugh… ing at the ical side of life in hiding； and the next day （and there are many such days）； were frightened； and the fear； tension and despair can be read on our faces。
miep and mr。 kugler bear the greatest burden for us； and for all those in hiding…miep in everything she does and mr。 kugler through his enormous responsibthty for the eight of us； which is sometimes so overwhelming that he can hardly speak from the pent…up tension and strain。 mr。 kleiman and bep also take very good care of us； but theyre able to put the annex out of their minds； even if its only for a few hours or a few days。 they have their own worries； mr。 kleiman with his health and bep with her engagement； which isnt looking very promising lat the moment。 but they also have their outings； their visits with friends； their everyday lives as ordinary people； so that the tension is sometimes relieved； if only for a short while； while ours never is； never has been； not once in the two years weve been here。 how much longer will this increasingly oppressive； unbearable weight press i down on us？
the drains are clogged again。 we cant run the wa… ter； or if we do； only a trickle；
we cant flush the toilet； so we have to use a toilet brush； and weve been putting our dirty water into a big earthenware jar。 we can man… age for today； but what will happen if the plumber cant fix it on his own？ the sanitation department cant e until tuesday。
miep sent us a raisin bread with 〃happy pentecost〃 written on top。 its almost as if she were mocking us； since our moods and cares are far from 〃happy。鈥�
weve all bee more frightened since the van hoeven business。 once again you hear 〃shh〃 from all i sides； and were doing everything more quietly。 the police forced the door there； they could just as easily do that here too！ what will we do if were ever。
。 。 no； i mustnt write that down。 but the question wont let itself be pushed to the back of my mind today； on the contrary； all the fear ive ever felt is looming before me in all its horror。
i had to go downstairs alone at eight this evening to use the bathroom。 there was no one down there； since they were all listening to the radio。 i wanted to be brave； but it
was hard。 i always feel safer upstairs than in that huge； silent house； when im alone with those mysterious muffied sounds from upstairs and the honking of horns in the street； i have to hurry and remind myself where i am to keep from getting the shivers。
miep has been acting much nicer toward us since her talk with father。 but i havent told you about that yet。 miep came up one afternoon all flushed and asked father straight out if we thought they too were infected with the current anti…semitism。
father was stunned and quickly talked her out of the idea； but some of mieps suspicion has lingered on。 theyre doing more errands for us now and showing more of an interest in our troubles； though we certainly shouldnt bother them with our woes。 oh； theyre such good； noble people！
ive asked myself again and again whether it wouldnt have been better if we hadnt gone into hiding； if we were dead now and didnt have to go through this misery； especially so that the others could be spared the burden。 but we all shrink from this thought。 we still love life； we havent yet forgotten the voice of nature； and we keep hoping； hoping for。 。 。 everything。
let something happen soon； even an air raid。 nothing can be more crushing than this anxiety。 let the end e； however cruel； at least then well know whether we are to be the victors or the vanquished。
yours； anne
m。 frank
wednesday； may 31； 1944
dearest kitty；
saturday； sunday； monday and tuesday it was too hot to hold my fountain pen； which is why i couldnt write to you。 friday the drains were clogged； saturday they were fixed。 mrs。 kleiman came for a visit in the afternoon and told us a lot about jopiej she and jacque van maarsen are in the same hockey club。 sunday bep dropped by to make sure there hadnt been a break…in and stayed for breakfast。 monday （a holiday because of pentecost）； mr。 gies served as the annex watchman； and tuesday we were finally allowed to open the windows。 weve seldom had a pentecost weekend that was so beautiful and warm。 or maybe 〃hot〃 is a better word。 hot weather is horrible in the annex。 to give you an idea of the numerous plaints； ill briefly describe these sweltering days。
saturday： 〃wonderful； what fantastic weather；〃 we all said in the morning。 〃if only it
werent quite so hot；〃 we said in the afternoon； when the windows had to be shut。
sunday： 〃the heats unbearable； the butters melt… ing； theres not a cool spot anywhere in the house； the breads drying out； the milks going sour； the windows cant be opened。 we poor outcasts are suffocating while everyone else is enjoying their pentecost。〃 （according to mrs。 van d。）
monday： 〃my feet hurt； i have nothing cool to wear； i cant do the dishes in this heat！〃 grumbling from early in the morning to late at night。 it was awful。
i cant stand the heat。 im glad the winds e up today； but that the suns still shining。
yours； anne
m。 frank
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JUNE； 1944
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