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i noticed she wasnt indifferent to my coldness。 i saw the sorrow in her face when she talked about not being able to make me love her。 its hard to tell the truth； and yet the truth is that shes the one whos rejected me。 shes the one whose tactless ments and cruel jokes about matters i dont think are funny have made me insensitive to any sign of love on her part。 just as my heart sinks every time i hear her harsh words； thats how her heart sank when she realized there was no more love between us。
she cried half the night and didnt get any sleep。 father has avoided looking at me； and if his eyes do happen to cross mine； i can read his unspoken words： 〃how can you be so unkind？ how dare you make your mother so sad！鈥�
everyone expects me to apologize； but this is not something i can apologize for； because i told the truth； and sooner or later mothjr was bound to find out anyway。 i seem to be indifferent to mothers tears and fathers glances； and i am； because both of them are now feeling what ive always felt。 i can only feel sorry for mother； who will have to figure out what her attitude should be all by herself。 for my part； i will
continue to remain silent and aloof； and i dont intend to shrink from the truth； because the longer its postponed； the harder it will be for them to accept it when they do hear it！
yours； anne
tuesday； april 27； 1943
dearest kitty；
the house is still trembling from the aftereffects of the quarrels。 everyone is mad at everyone else： mother and i； mr。 van daan and father； mother and mrs。 van d。
terrific atmosphere； dont you think？ once again annes usual list of shortings has been extensively aired。
our german visitors were back last saturday。 they stayed until six。 we all sat upstairs； not daring to move an inch。 if theres no one else working in the building or in the neighborhood； you can hear every single step in the private office。 ive got ants in my pants again from having to sit still so long。
mr。 voskuijl has been hospitalized； but mr。 kleimans back at the office。 his stomach stopped bleeding sooner than it normally does。 he told us that the county clerks office took an extra beating because the firemen flooded the entire building instead of just putting out the fire。 that does my heart good！
the carlton hotel has been destroyed。 two british planes loaded with firebombs landed right on top of the german officers club。 the entire corner of vijzelstraat and singel has gone up in flames。 the number of air strikes on german cities is increasing daily。 we havent had a good nights rest in ages； and i have bags under my eyes from lack of sleep。
our food is terrible。 breakfast consists of plain； unbuttered brea and ersatz coffee。 for the last two weeks lunch has been e。 spinach or cooked lettuce with huge potatoes that have a rotten； sweetish taste。 if youre trying to diet； the annex is the place to be！ upstairs they plain bitterly； but we dont think its such a tragedy。
all the dutch men who either fought or were mobilized in 1940 have been called up to work in prisoner…of…war camps。 i bet theyre taking this precaution because of the invasion！
yours； anne
MAY； 1943
灏忥紝璇达蓟t。xt锛诲ぉ鍫傦綕
saturday； may 1； 1943
dearest kitty；
yesterday was dussels birthday。 at first he acted as if he didnt want to celebrate it； but when miep arrived with a large shopping bag overflowing with gifts； he was as excited as a little kid。 his darling lotje〃 has sent him eggs； butter； cookies； lemonade； bread； cognac； spice cake； flowers； oranges； chocolate； books and writing paper。 he piled his presents on a table and displayed them for no fewer than three days； the silly old goat！
you mustnt get the idea that hes starving。 we found bread； cheese； jam and eggs in his cupboard。 its absolutely disgraceful that dussel； whom weve treated with such kindness and whom we took in to save from destruction； should stuff himself behind our backs and not give us anything。 after all； weve shared all we had with him！ but whats worse； in our opinion； is that hes so stingy with respect to mr。 kleiman； mr。
voskuijl and bep。 he doesnt give them a thing。 in dussels view the oranges that kleiman so badly needs for his sick stomach will benefit his own stomach even more。
tonight the guns have been banging away so much that ive already had to gather up my belongings four times。 today i packed a suitcase wl f；the stuff id need in case we had to flee； but as m ther correctly noted； 〃where would you go？鈥�
all of holland is being punishe or the workers strikes。 martial law has been declared； and everyone is going to get one less butter coupon。 what naughty children。
i washed mothers hair this evening； which is no easy task these days。 we have to use a very sticky liquid cleanser because theres no more shampoo。 besides that； moms had a hard time bing her hair because the family b has only ten teeth left。
yours； anne
sunday； may 2； 1943
when i think about our lives here； i usually e to the conclusion that we live in a paradise pared to the jews who arent in hiding。 all the same； later on； when
everything has returned to normal； ill probably wonder how we； who always lived in such fortable circumstances； could have 〃sunk〃 so low。 with respect to manners； i mean。 for example； the same oilcloth has covered the dining table ever since weve been here。 after so much use； its hardly what youd call spotless。 i do my best to clean it； but since the dishcloth was also purchased before we went into hiding and consists of more holes than cloth； its a thankless task。 the van daans have been sleeping all winter long on the same flannel sheet； which cant be washed because detergent is rationed and in short supply。 besides； its of such poor quality that its practically useless。 father is walking around in frayed trousers； and his tie is also showing signs of wear and tear。 mamas corset snapped today and is beyond repair； while margot is wearing a bra thats two sizes too small； mother and margot have shared the same three undershorts the entire winter； and mine are so small they dont even cover my stomach。 these are all things that can be overe； but i sometimes wonder： how