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people shook out their damp bedding and arranged their places。 I saw Sharon with Doc and smiled。
“Over here； Wanda；” Jamie called； waving me toward where he’d just set his mattress next to Ian’s。
“There’s room for all three of us now。”
Jamie was the one person who treated me almost exactly the same as before。 He did make allowances
for my puny physique； but he never seemed surprised to see me enter a room or shocked when
Wanderer’s words came through these lips。
“You don’t really want that cot； do you； Wanda？ I’ll bet we could all fit okay on the mattresses if we
shoved them together。” Jamie grinned at me while he kicked one mattress into the other without waiting
for agreement。 “You don’t take up much space。”
He took the cot from Ian and set it on its side； out of the way。 Then Jamie stretched out on the very
edge of the far mattress and turned his back to us。
“Oh； hey； Ian；” he added without turning。 “I talked to Brandt and Aaron； and I think I’m going to move
in with them。 Well； I’m beat。 Night； guys。”
I stared at Jamie’s unmoving form for a long moment。 Ian was just as motionless。 He couldn’t have been
having a panic attack； too； though。 Was he thinking of some way to extricate himself from the situation？
“Lights out；” Jeb bellowed from across the room。 “Everybody shut yer trap so I can get some shut…eye。”
People laughed； but took him seriously as always。 One by one； the four lamps were dimmed until the
room was black。
Ian’s hand found mine； it was warm。 Did he notice how cold and sweaty my skin was？
He sank to his knees on the mattress； tugging me gently along。 I followed and lay down on the seam
between the beds。 He kept my hand。
“Is this okay？” Ian whispered。 There were other hushed conversations going on around us； made
indistinct by the rush of the sulfur spring。
“Yes； thank you；” I answered。
Jamie rolled over； shaking the mattress and knocking into me。 “Oops； sorry； Wanda；” he murmured； and
then I heard him yawn。
Automatically； I shifted out of his way。 Ian was closer than I’d thought。 I gasped quietly when I ran into
of my first experience with No Pain。 Like I’d been in agony without realizing it； and his touch had taken
all the hurt away。
That feeling erased my shyness。 I rolled so that I was facing him； and he tightened his arm around me。
“Is this okay？” I whispered； repeating his question。
He kissed my forehead。 “Better than okay。”
We were silent for a few minutes。 Most of the other conversations had died out。
He bent down so that his lips were at my ear and whispered； quieter than before； “Wanda； do you
think… ？” He fell silent。
“Yes？”
“Well； it looks like I have a room all to myself now。 That’s not right。”
“No。 There’s not enough space for you to be alone。”
“I don’t want to be alone。 But…”
Why wouldn’t he ask？ “But what？”
“Have you had enough time to sort things out yet？ I don’t want to rush you。 I know it’s confusing… with
Jared…”
It took me a moment to process what he was saying； but then I giggled quietly。 Melanie wasn’t much
given to giggling； but Pet had been； and her body betrayed me at this most inopportune moment。
“What？” he demanded。
“I was givingyou time to sort things out；” I explained in a whisper。 “I didn’t want to rushyou —because I
know it’s confusing。 With Melanie。”
He jumped just a little in surprise。 “You thought… ？ But Melanie isn’t you。 I was never confused。”
I was smiling in the dark now。 “And Jared isn’t you。”
His voice was tighter when he answered。 “But he’s still Jared。 And you love him。”
Ian was jealous again？ I shouldn’t have been pleased by negative emotions； but I had to admit this was
encouraging。
“Jared is my past； another life。 You are my present。”
He was quiet for a moment。 When he spoke again； his voice was rough with emotion。 “And your future；
if you want that。”
And then he kissed me in the most unplatonic way possible under the crowded circumstances； and I was
thrilled to remember that I’d been smart enough to lie about my age。
The rains would end； and when they did； Ian and I would be together； partners in the truest sense。 This
was a promise and an obligation I had never had in all my lives。 Thinking of it made me feel joyful and
anxious and shy and desperately impatient all at the same time—made me feelhuman 。
After all this had been settled； Ian and I were more inseparable than ever。 So when it came time for me
to test my new face on the other souls； of course he went with me。
This raid was a relief for me after long weeks of frustration。 It was bad enough that my new body was
weak and nearly useless in the caves； I couldn’t believe it when the others didn’t want to let me use my
body for the one thing it was perfect for。
Jared had specifically approved of Jamie’s choice because of this guileless； vulnerable face that no one
could ever doubt； this delicate build that anyone would be motivated to protect； but even he had a hard
time putting his theory into practice。 I was sure raiding would be every bit as easy for me now as it had
been before； but Jared； Jeb； Ian； and the others—everyone but Jamie and Mel—debated for days； trying
to find a way around using me for that。 It was ridiculous。
I saw them eyeing Sunny； but she was still unproven； not trusted。 On top of that； Sunny had absolutely
no intention of setting one foot outside。 The very wordraid had her cowering in terror。 Kyle would not go
out with us； Sunny had gone hysterical the one time he’d mentioned it。
In the end； practicality had won out。 I was needed。
It was good to be needed。
Supplies had been dwindling； this would be a long； thorough trip。 Jared was leading the raid； as usual； so
it went without saying that Melanie was included。 Aaron and Brandt volunteered； not that we really
needed the muscle； they were tired of being cooped up。
We were going far to the north； and I was excited to see the new places—to feel the cold again。
Excitement got a bit o