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乔伊斯的故事-第章

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  There should no name and title if a man can s*e the cultural life; I sedate myself like this when I h*e not enough courage to answer the name of Joyce。

  He wants to improve people’s spirit by his works; he wants to affect the society by people’s psyche improving; but I only want to clean my life and my vexation by my poem。

  My writing condition is a trough of poem literature; it’s a depreciatory epoch of poem; even can’t be changed by the fact that a jacobinic poet takes his pants down when he recites his poem。

  It’s can’t turn round by this sensation; and I know it’s a weakness of people’s reading; so I also will be slighted as a poet; absolutely like a undefended innocent; thus I defend my damaged courtyard wall。

  People should be forgiven; specifically the unintelligent villain; from our pity; when they lost their lily…white soul。 We should forgive an utterly useless person when he grovels and cadge as a beggar。 If a person lost his soul; he will ask for the power to make him live longer; like a beggar。

  And poem will give him a reason to subsist by the hope and beauty from poem; like any other arts give people the aesthetically joviality。

  Once a time my friend asks me: “does the world give the poem away because of its grime; or the dirty life of society makes the poem to valueless?” The answer maybe is that the poem is still there; and the poem changes into the sobbing of suffering; the *all sentence of expressing; the stimulating of ambition and the accusing of odiousness; the poet changes his identity and character in poem writing。

  But the poet didn’t break his conscience; he never has to worry about it。 As a motto today; I write those words in my roommate’s *all blackboard; and hear to my roommate’s voice; he says: “Bear up; my brother。”

  That is an incentive sentence to me when I make a writing abroad; pare with the situation of my study in the department of Chinese language and literature; I feel better。 I find the growing of a person is in her heart; not in the surface; whatever job he did。

  So a person’s growing airspace depends on his innate idiosyncrasy; it’s a personal development mode。 Such as some Chinese adages: Do you h*e a thing for cripples or what? You cannot make a horn of a pig’s tail。 In a word; the decisive element of one person’s prosperity is the internal cause。

  I’m very exciting when I talk about the poem with Dr。 Saratid in the drawing room of human resource development department。 Maybe those are some plaints what I talk; and I look up at the declining orb; I always remember the lost former days。

  The stories are about my studying of my memory which haunt me and never go away。

西陵镇
槐花香飘的西陵镇在她自己的夏日里,正是迷人时光。

  槐花绽放,我应该在那树荫下的吊床上安稳地睡着,母亲推开木门的声音并没有把我惊醒,我的醒来是源于母亲身上的味道,我熟悉的气味带来的甜美。我的醒来不带哭声,我眼见着父亲挎着行囊推开家门,接着是母亲从木门外跟进来。我的醒来是在一个午后,阳光水一般的从桐树叶、槐树叶和密密麻麻的樱桃叶里滴落,间和着铜铃铛在围墙外的小学震荡的声音,我的醒来是一群学童在欢呼雀跃着奔出教室的那一刻,是母亲奔进家门的那一刻,她的手掌还有田野青草的颜色,还有青草的气息。因为父亲在我的吊床边望着,我醒来的时候间或期盼着他时常带给我的那些小吃。是如此混合的气味把我从阳光之池的酣睡中叫醒吧,我时常的幻想这么一刻,在我最早的沙堆里堆土长城的记忆前,我应该这么的醒来过一次,我亲眼经历的父亲打工挣来学费给我上学的那一幕,确实是需要我这么美好的幻想一下,才能衔接住母亲在沙堆前问我想不想上学的事儿。

  我是不愿上学的,因为我还没有堆完我的土长城。沙堆里新挖掘出的那口池塘喝了两碗井水也没有映现我想象的水面,我想是筑不起来我想要的那个庄园了,随便踩上两脚,踢飞了那些垄脉分明的沙土,我才牵住母亲的手去上学的。上学在那时成为一个灰心丧气的选择。上学路上经过被摧毁的土长城的那片院墙是我最难过的时刻,如果一个人的童年里有一段没有修建好的土长城,如果又像我一样的亲自摧毁了它,我一定要问他是否体验到童年的幸福。如果可以在每个人的入学前都设置一个问题,我想问的一定是上学的动机,为母亲在上学路上奖励的一只小雪糕,为邻家小妹也挎上书包而自己少了玩伴,为追随大龄的三年级的哥哥,还是捣乱了鸡圈、扒翻了母亲的针线筐。如果我的土长城在沙堆里蔓延,池水明明灭灭,而邻居修葺院墙永远也不用那堆沙,我还是否会顺从着母亲的手,走进教室,是否会遇见古诗里的童年和那位放牛娃的春天?柳绿桃红的村庄里,垂柳与燕子当作二月剪刀的影像就在院墙外的那条小河边上;如果你要钓一江寒雪,我劝你还是先钓一河寒雪吧,在东庄和西庄的中间,河流上头的土桥上,你在我的村庄可以坐北向南的与远日同钓,也可以背对着阳光看雪白的冬天把村庄变成冷美人。

  这个季节槐花还占领着村庄屋顶层面的空间,从二楼某间纱窗向村庄望去,浓厚的槐花云随风涌动。我还睡在庭院那片槐花云下,淡香在空气里稀释又聚散着,在我枕头边仿佛一股水流。父亲就坐在井台边,他因为胃病不能喝凉水,那碗冒着热气的白开水冷下来的速度太慢,他只好在开水变凉前的夏日里将烟囱剥落着的泥块堵进去,他干泥水匠的活儿在村子里是把好手,但泥水匠家的厨房也有剥落着的烟囱,也有坍塌着待修葺的墙头,院子里的桃树枝头开到了门外小巷里,被上学的孩童够着、揪走了两三片绿叶,它摇晃着枝桠在父亲身后,整个庭院也仿佛在父亲的身后摇晃着,凉风快要吹凉了父亲的那碗茶,我慵懒的睡着,并不担心明天就要去学堂了。

  一笔学费跟着父亲走进我们家,这笔开支算的上笔大钱。超过十元的人民币我还想不出它的用途的那些童年时光,掀开新一页。操场上一圈孩子围着的那个三年级的男孩突然把老师来了的消息惊爆给我们的时候,我和他们一样冲进了镶嵌着用木条钉起的窗户的教室,上课是做些什么事情,我已经忘记。留在操场上做游戏的少年是无拘无束的,他们的声音被阻隔在教室外,高年级大哥最后也被他的老师揪回教室的时候,课堂真正的开始了,黑板被粉笔雕刻着,线条仿佛一道道刻痕在那个午后的教室里那么鲜明的,零张开了嘴巴叫喊着,孤单单的一羡慕着恋爱中的二和一家团聚的三,并与那个被锁在家里的儿子:四、行走着的五、玩火柴杆游戏的六、跳踢踏舞的七、喇叭八、奔跑着的九、严厉而无趣的十一起在黑色操场上奔跑。站在讲台上的那个我们的邻居跟我们在田地里见到的邻居不一样,他穿的干净。

  第一节课给学生的冲动其实是拥有一支彩色粉笔,放学后一个人在黑板上划一条长长的线条,从一端开始,到另一端结束,或许可以拐个弯让粉笔头蔓延在那刚翻新过的黑板上。模仿的乐趣是一种原始的冲动吧,当一个孩童可以在这个夏天写出飞鸟和阳光的时候,他也踏青了多次,放过纸鸢了,不管他对东风的认识如何,他也必定是趁着东风起劲的时候放飞了纸糊的风筝。语文课本扉页或接连着
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